Have you ever heard the phrase “We are living our lives from the neck up”? This describes how a busy mind keeps us wrapped up in thoughts and rumination. Often the body gets forgotten until our hunger or thirst or urge to pee can’t be ignored any longer. When we lose connection to our bodies it sets us up for a cycle of emotional eating that can be very hard to break. Most of my work in the world of nutrition is to help people reconnect with their bodies and understand their emotions in order to find balance and feel vitality.
This reconnection to the inner experience of life might be described as embodiment. I keep coming across this word everywhere from conversations of mindfulness to somatic therapy to research on eating disorder recovery. It turns out that embodiment is not only a key concept in breaking the cycle of emotional eating but also critical to the ability to feel present and alive.
Embodiment is the way in which our invisible thoughts and emotions become expressed and perceived through the body. While researching this topic I came across the tangible example of gravity. We can understand the concept of gravity through the logical mind. To have an embodied understanding of gravity we can turn our attention inward to feel the pressure of the chair supporting our weight or we can notice the muscles contracting to counteract the force of gravity and lift us out of the chair. Embodiment takes us out of our head and into our body.
The ability to connect with our body is important for balanced eating. We can intellectually know that we need to eat throughout the day to support life. Some people may even count calories or points or follow a structured meal plan and that may be helpful in times when we lose connection to our body. However, it’s worth exploring a more embodied way of eating that tunes into our sensations of hunger and fullness and helps us choose portions and timings in relationship to our bodies changing needs.
This may sound simple but it can be extremely challenging for those who have needed to disconnect from their bodies in the past. Here are some common reasons why we may become disembodied:
1. Diet Industry – Those with a history of dieting and restriction likely had to disconnect from hunger and pleasurable foods to conform to the rules of the diet.
2. Poor body image- We live in a society that forces an almost impossible ideal on how our bodies should look and function. It can be hard to feel at home in a body that we’ve been taught is not good enough. Our bodies may have even been ridiculed or shamed in the past.
3. Perfectionism: A tendency to strive for perfection can disconnect us from our body in order to achieve a particular goal. This might show up as skipping meals in the workday to be more productive or striving to reach a particular weight.
4. Trauma and Safety: For many, being in the body doesn’t feel safe due to past trauma. Reconnecting can bring up difficult sensations or memories. For this reason, it’s important to move slowly, be patient and seek support.
5. Intense Emotions: When we experience difficult emotions such as fear, insecurity, grief, judgement shame or regret they can show up in the body in different ways such as pain, tension, constriction, heaviness etc… Disconnecting from our body is a natural way to get some distance from intense emotions.
When life becomes intense or overwhelming, as a form of protection we may disassociate from our bodies, or numb out intense feelings or move into our minds where we can intellectualize and escape the reality of the bodily experience. These are effective and important coping mechanisms in the short term, however if it becomes a pattern, we can lose connection with what it means to be alive: to feel, to experience and to be present. Brene Brown, PhD offers this insight:
“You cannot selectively numb. So when we numb (the hard feelings), we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness. And then we are miserable, and we are looking for purpose and meaning, and then we feel vulnerable, so we have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin. And it becomes this dangerous cycle.””
Dr. Brown is describing one of the roots of emotional eating. When we disconnect from our body it helps us in the short term to survive difficult emotions, but it comes at a great cost. Not only do we lose our ability to regulate hunger and fullness, we also lose touch with the emotions that give us meaning and purpose… which may drive us back to food as a way to soothe our sadness.
Disembodied Emotional Eating Cycle
Emotional eating makes perfect sense when you understand the chemistry of eating. Food is a powerful soothing agent. The moment we eat comfort foods, we get an immediate rush of ‘feel good’ endorphins, serotonin, oxytocin and dopamine. These hormones relax us and makes us feel better immediately. There is no shame in wanting to feel better! However, we may experience physical discomfort from the foods we choose and then psychological discomfort from our inner critical parts that follow with guilt and shame and perhaps even plans for self-punishment and restriction. Which of course leads to hard feelings again and the cycle continues.
There is Hope. There are many ways to begin shifting this cycle and embodiment is a core doorway to build connection and confidence.
1. Body Scan: You can start practicing mindfulness to build your skills of connecting with the body. You can try taking a moment right now. Close your eyes and do a quick scan of your body from head to toe. Pause when you notice any sensation and just make note, without out judgement or needing to change anything. It might look something like this “tightness in jaw, pressure of the chair on my back, pinching on my hip, tingling in my fingers, emptiness in my stomach, warmth on my feet”. It’s helpful to build this skill of noticing what is arising in the body when you aren’t experiencing difficult emotions. Some may find it boring or may think it’s a ‘waste of time’ but research has shown as you build this skill of ‘interoception’ you can more skillfully hold and mange emotions before they become overwhelming. For a Full body scan practice visit my profile on Insight Timer. The 30 min body scan is called Awaken and Acknowledge, MBSR. You can work up to the practice of sitting with difficult emotions without needing to disconnect from the body. Eventually you become better at self-soothing without food. Be patient with yourself. This takes time and support.
2. Hunger Cues: You can become more aware of your bodily sensations of hunger and fullness. This helps you eat foods and quantities that feel good in your body and helps you reconnect to the pleasure and satisfaction of eating without the fear of over- indulging. By eating regular meals and snacks through-out the day (including breakfast) you remove the physical desire to eat at night. You can try this mindful eating journal which helps you better notice your hunger cues.
3. Mindful Eating: In it’s simplest form, you can practice mindful eating by tuning into your 5 senses while eating: Sight, Sound, Smell, Touch, Taste. Try eating slowly and savouring each bite. Here’s a short 5min guided mindful eating activity.
4. Getting to know the Critical Parts of You: Our inner critical voices can be very strong and disruptive. With practice you can start to build a relationship with your inner critical parts to understand where the harshness is coming from. The Internal Family Systems model of relating to the mind can be very helpful in understanding emotional eating. I recommend the book “Unburdened Eating” by Jeanne Catanzaro. I also run a program called “Finding Freedom with Food”.
5. SoulCollage®: SoulCollage is a creative activity that encourages you to tune into your body while you create collages. It helps loosen the grip of the analytical mind and guides you toward a greater trust in your intuition. The end result is surprisingly meaningful collages that help you express exactly what is needed.
This is not an exhaustive list! There are many ways to practice moving toward embodiment. Stay open and curious and see where your intuition draws you.
If you would like a day to sink into the practice of embodiment – join us on Saturday April 12th at St. Brigid’s Villa in Guelph for my last retreat of the season: Spring Embodiment with SoulCollage®.
If you are looking for support with emotional eating or you simply want to build a better relationship with your body and food, you can read more about an intuitive eating consultation. Reach out to me at heidismithvitality@gmail.com if you have questions.