I’ve often heard meditation compared to training a puppy. I never fully appreciated this metaphor until now. We welcomed little Leo, a 2 month Bernese Shepard, into our home on December of 2020.
I imagined endless hours of puppy cuddling, long walks in the woods and playing fetch. However the reality has included endless hours of picking up poop, redirecting from gnawed furniture legs and rescuing my favourite leather boots… Over and over and over again. This has led to many rounds of self-doubt, frustration and wondering if I was cut out for this.
Interestingly this is very similar to the experience of many new meditators. Often people seek out meditation to reduce stress, escape the busy world and cultivate a sense of peacefulness. However, for some, the exact opposite occurs. When we close our eyes we discover the chaotic, puppy-like nature of the untrained mind.
We start with the seemingly simple intention to focus on the breath and within seconds the mind has darted off on some tangent, like a puppy chasing a squirrel. With some mild irritation, we call the mind back to the breath. Within seconds the puppy brain darts away again, like a ‘dog on a bone’. Many will find this repetition frustrating and doubt their ability to meditate. I often hear “ I just can’t meditate” or “It’s not relaxing” or “I don’t see the point, it feels like a waste of time”.
If you view meditation like training a puppy, it becomes obvious that it can be frustrating at first. The puppy doesn’t know any better, it’s just doing what puppies do! It’s the same for the mind. Our minds wander and get distracted by emotional ‘bones’. It takes time and patience and repetition and celebration. Each time you notice your mind has wandered, it’s like a tiny celebration. You fetched your attention and brought it back. As mindfulness expert Jon Kabat-Zinn says “If your mind wanders 1000 times, you simply bring it back 1000 times”. You gently and firmly, guide the puppy mind back to its sitting position. “Sit…stay… and when it wanders…. Sit…stay… And again. Sit…stay…”
So, what’s the payoff for all this work? Well, it’s easy to see for the puppy. Training is critical to have order and safety and peacefulness in the home. Of course, the same is true for a well-trained mind. Eventually over time, with practice, focus improves. Your time between wandering reduces. We also know that in as short as 8 weeks of regular meditation practice you can see changes in brain physiology. The alarm centre of the brain called the amygdala begins to shrink. The amygdala is responsible for our Fight, Flight, Freeze automatic response. A smaller amygdala has been associated with less reactivity to stress. Therefore, your ability to sit with discomfort increases.
Just like teaching a puppy to sit, we can teach the mind to ‘sit’ even in difficult situations. When dealing with difficult emotions, we can practice holding them with a sense of acceptance and kindness rather than acting out or running away (Fight or Flight). With continued practice we learn to respond rather than react to stress, emotions or challenging situations.
So, I leave you with this question. Are you willing to put in the time to pick up the poop, to spend endless hours redirecting and learning the distractions of the mind? The end result might just your new ‘best friend’ – a well-trained, loyal and loving mind. Or at the very least, you may create a space with a little less chaos and a little more peace at the end of the day.
WANT TO LEARN MORE?:
Just as we might consult a dog trainer or behaviouralist to help us with training exercises and support for a puppy – it can be helpful to seek out the expertise and support from a mindfulness community. Check out my upcoming programs for the next mindfulness programs and silent retreats. The Centre for Mindfulness Studies in Toronto is also a great resource. If you like technology, check out the many Apps available such as: Headspace, Insight Timer, Buddify, Calm and 10% Happier. (You’ll find my meditations on the free App: Insight Timer)
To learn more about mindfulness and mindfulness based stress reduction (MBSR) join me for a free online introduction to mindfulness Feb 9th 2021.